Fractals & Lemon trees

Do you remember the song:

“I wonder how, I wonder why

Yesterday you told me 'bout the blue, blue sky

And all that I can see is just another lemon tree”

What fascinated me about the song besides the catchy tune was the schism in what the people involved were seeing. What does a lemon and the sky have to do with one an other?

I was obsessed with song. A couple of years later, at University I was obsessed with chaos theory and fractals. Part of me marvelled at the existence of structures and patterns in seemingly nonesense. I realise writing this that I have not read James Gleick’s book about Chaos now that I am a trained physicist. I wonder if I should give it a try.

But why come back to chaos theory, blue skies and lemon trees today? They simultaneously have nothing to do with an other and yet everything to do with one an other. I made a vow to myself as a young scientist to never (ever) under no circumstances answer any question with “yes and no”. Few nothings get under my skin more than people who say this. Therefore, I should probably not start today.

One of the reasons I love physics is that it helps me to make sense of so many things. I remember my awe the first time I stumbled into Lagrange's equations in one of Laudau’s book or the joy to sit in one of my first quantum physics classes. Experiments, formalism, these were music to my ears. Maybe the only place where physics has failed to rescue me is to make sense of human experience.

Sitting at my desk, bathed in early spring light, all that traverses my mind are questions. I would like to share three of them, I am not sure if they are related or random, you tell me:

• I wonder how to keep the flame of curiosity wonder and uncertainty i.e. the very essence of science, when the research model imposes certainty, guarantees of successes, and outcomes with no room for mistakes ?

  
  

• I wonder with beliefs systems tailored by algorithms, are we seeing the same world?

  
  

• I wonder how does one reconcile within a human soul a state that cares about the smallest things in life while the most privileged of us are bombarded with images of the unlucky ones?

  
  

I wish that I had the ability to make sense of the human experience. As of today in the comfort of my house, I am left with nothing but the discomfort of unanswered questions and an aching heart.