Have you ever heard of the Smurfette syndrome?
“The Smurfette syndrome (or the principle of the Smurfette), named after the eponymous character, is that of the over-representation (voluntarily or unconscious) of male protagonists in works of fiction, to the detriment of female protagonists. This concept makes it possible in particular to highlight the fact that each man has his own personality, while women in fictional universes often only exist through their role as a woman.” [Wikipedia].
For the sake of no hidden agendas let me state two facts:
1 - I am 42.
2- I am a feminist.
I have known some success in my career, I have found myself very often to be the only woman in the room. At first it was disarming and I felt completely inadequate. However experience taught me to speak up in this (sometimes hostile) environment, argue, defend ideas, interrupt back etc. While am still improving my navigation system for this particular swamp, I learned a trick or two on the way. I am often asked, especially by young women, what does it feel like to have reached this stage your career?
Do I feel tired and exhausted of having to constantly re-affirm my existence as human being with free will and independent thinking ? Absolutely.
Do I feel pride ? Maybe but this is not relevant.
Do I feel gratitude for being here? Now this is an interesting question.
There is at first sight something rewarding in singularity, exceptionality. One could easily fall in the luring narrative of “look at me, I made it. I am the only one”. The truth is no matter how shiny and gratifying this feeling is, it is a trap. Feminism taught me to gracefully avoid it and say no thank you very much.
For it is not enough to be singular, to be the chosen one. A successful feminist will leave her shoe in the door for her “sister” to join. Not only that and this may sound more counter-intuitive, a solid feminist does not feel threatened by younger women. On the contrary she will make and create space for her sister, for her sisters. In fact is it her duty to not only support them but to shift the spotlight in their direction. To me this is a feminist act: to move from under the spotlight and to become the one holding it.
Now this requires a hell of a lot of confidence, because as difficult it is to join the boys club it takes almost nothing to get kicked out, hence the question: is this risk worth taking ?
Yes, a hundred percent yes.
Changes in culture are abysmally slow, they require patience, pain, conflict management and so many other exhausting things, but perhaps the stage can change and it might even be changing one shoe in the door at a time.
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